Puppetism

To begin our Ask a Puppet series, Juandie asks:

Why did one ghost say to the other ghost?

Why, I no more believe in ghosts than I do... sock monkeys. Why, I'd be more likely to utter the statement "cool jazz is cool indeed" than to bother with any notions of supernatural infestation from beyond the grave.

Arr, ghosts be mighty arrful, me hardy. But ye canna be a pirate for long, arr, without collecting a few ghoulies. I believe the old syllogism she go like this:

A. Plato were a man, don't ye know.
B. Me dagger stuck in Plato's back.
C. Arr, Plato's a'haunting me!

You put two specters together and they's always asking why, don't ye know. 'Cause they already knows the who, how, what and when of it. What be a what worth when a why be all ye want? When'll always be once, as in, "Once I were a who, and here be how I died, now all as I want to know be why?" Why, why, why? Arr. It be enough to makes ye wants to keel them all over again.

Arr. Why not join me in a flagon of ale, me matey?

That be a deal, arr. It be almost a sure thing.