In the third part of our Ask a Puppet series, nobody asks:
I've been visiting Puppetism religiously every day for four months and there hasn't been an update in all that time. Where are you guys? I miss you. Please come back and light up my life!
Wait a second, did you say "nobody" asked about us? After four months, nobody missed us? Nobody called our mothers? Nobody visited the morgues and emergency rooms? Nobody sent us cryptic, unsigned letters with pictures of snowflakes pasted to the front pages and no return addresses?
Well, to put it succinctly, for the past four months we have been on the top of a high bookcase with a number of our associates: Winston, Kaerie, Tad and, um, that young lemur. What is his name?
I don't think he has a name. He's still got his tags and everything. And he's a sifaka. At least that's what his tag says. It's all I've had to read for the past four months. Sifaka this, sifaka that. It doesn't really go anywhere.
Well, I must admit to being relatively fortunate since I could read all the books on the foreign languages shelf: French, German, Greek, Russian, Korean, Italian, Welsh, the Maya glyphs and all sorts of Japanese manuals. A treasure trove of linguistic inquiry.
Nothing. I could see the titles, but the information within lay beyond my grasp. I did stare at the spines and imagine all the knowledge I might absorb, which is what I think most people do with such books. I pictured myself at a street cafe on the Rue de Something-or-Other discussing the viscera of artistic expression, or something like that, all in French. "But of course," I would say (in French.)
You know that Little Jimmy Dickens song, "A-Sleepin' at the Foot of the Bed?" That's what our predicament made me think about. Everybody piled together like that. That song kept poppin' in my head.
Yes, and allow me add, I am so pleased you know all the words to that song and -- seemingly -- no other song in existence. The part about the nanny goat I especially like. There simply are not enough songs with the words "nanny goat" in them.
Yes. Well, I believe that says everything. We were on a shelf. Being a puppet, one has one's "Jonah days," or in this instance, "Jonah months." It cannot be helped. We apologize for the long absence, but it was not our fault.
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Perhaps you guys need a time management system. I recommend some cool techno-gadget such as a Monkey Pirate Getting Things Done Tiddlywiki which I think Mushmouth would like, or a stack of notecards with lists and lists of lists.
Better yet, try them all, then you could spend your whole day trying out new time management techniques rather than slouching on top of a bookcase collecting dust.
Thank you for that insightful comment. Do you not find it interesting how someone reading any kind of self-help manual, like, oh something about time management, is always ready with helpful advice?
Let us say my chili is bland. You should organize your spice rack according to the Pareto principle.
Or I have stabbing pains in my groin. A new filing system will clear that right up.
Or I am stuck on a high shelf. Get a wiki! You can weave a rope from it and rappel to safety!
unokhan says:
“There can be no end to this sifaka’s descent just as there never was a beginning.”
at least i think thass what u sed. reminds me of the jains. you try to pin them down about the existence of a deity with facile questions about the Creator Of The Universe and they retort with comlementary aplomb that the universe was not created, it has always existed and it is always going to exist.
I’m on my way out the door, but I wanted to thank you for your comment, as always. Always very interesting comments. Because I wear a bright red bow tie, I really should be able to follow the philosophical thread of your reply, but perhaps I need more caffeine in my system. I usually don’t start thinking about The Universe until after supper.
The universe doesn’t think about me so I don’t think about the universe. I think that’s only fair. Now if the big U would give me a little consideration, I wouldn’t mind reciprocating. You scratch my back and I’ll scratch yours, I say. But you got to scratch my back first. What do you say, universe?
…
Yeah, I didn’t think so.
unokhan says:
mushmouth, in the words of robert sutton–
“Hey word, you don’t have to be word any more”
unokhan
April 28th, 2008 at 8:23 pm
unokhan says:
ah hell, be juss like fukn yahweh — conjure up a universe, imbue it with lost souls, then juss walk away
Oh I feel so ashamed! Here our readers are talking to themselves on our blog and where are we? Off enjoying real life and real conversations with real people, completely ignoring this imaginary space we’ve created in the interchange of data. So sorry! We will do better, I promise.
Yay! I’m glad you are back.
Perhaps you guys need a time management system. I recommend some cool techno-gadget such as a Monkey Pirate Getting Things Done Tiddlywiki which I think Mushmouth would like, or a stack of notecards with lists and lists of lists.
Better yet, try them all, then you could spend your whole day trying out new time management techniques rather than slouching on top of a bookcase collecting dust.
MikeWaugh
April 10th, 2008
at 6:55 pm
Stobierski
April 11th, 2008
at 3:18 pm
Thank you for that insightful comment. Do you not find it interesting how someone reading any kind of self-help manual, like, oh something about time management, is always ready with helpful advice?
Let us say my chili is bland. You should organize your spice rack according to the Pareto principle.
Or I have stabbing pains in my groin. A new filing system will clear that right up.
Or I am stuck on a high shelf. Get a wiki! You can weave a rope from it and rappel to safety!
“There can be no end to this sifaka’s descent just as there never was a beginning.”
at least i think thass what u sed. reminds me of the jains. you try to pin them down about the existence of a deity with facile questions about the Creator Of The Universe and they retort with comlementary aplomb that the universe was not created, it has always existed and it is always going to exist.
at least i think thass what they sed.
but i was on the shelf.
unokhan
April 21st, 2008
at 10:13 am
Stobierski
April 23rd, 2008
at 3:34 am
I’m on my way out the door, but I wanted to thank you for your comment, as always. Always very interesting comments. Because I wear a bright red bow tie, I really should be able to follow the philosophical thread of your reply, but perhaps I need more caffeine in my system. I usually don’t start thinking about The Universe until after supper.
Mushmouth
April 23rd, 2008
at 1:44 pm
Wow. I think about The Universe all the time. I’m afraid if I stop it’ll stop.
Snout
April 23rd, 2008
at 3:12 pm
The universe doesn’t think about me so I don’t think about the universe. I think that’s only fair. Now if the big U would give me a little consideration, I wouldn’t mind reciprocating. You scratch my back and I’ll scratch yours, I say. But you got to scratch my back first. What do you say, universe?
…
Yeah, I didn’t think so.
mushmouth, in the words of robert sutton–
“Hey word, you don’t have to be word any more”
unokhan
April 28th, 2008
at 8:23 pm
ah hell, be juss like fukn yahweh — conjure up a universe, imbue it with lost souls, then juss walk away
unokhan
September 14th, 2008
at 7:58 pm
what yr is it
unokhan
September 28th, 2008
at 7:21 pm
Stobierski
November 9th, 2008
at 11:10 am
Oh I feel so ashamed! Here our readers are talking to themselves on our blog and where are we? Off enjoying real life and real conversations with real people, completely ignoring this imaginary space we’ve created in the interchange of data. So sorry! We will do better, I promise.