As you know, opinions can be controversial. In any sort of public policy debate, a good strategy is something I call the Drunken Monkey technique. If you’d like to see it in action, I suggest you buy me a few drinks. But here’s a short introduction.

Visualize your tongue picking its way through a minefield. One step forward, three steps backward, turn left, bend right. Hop, skip and jump. Fall to your rump. Roll to your side. Sweep your legs around and pick yourself up as you stumble backwards to the other side of the minefield. Voila!

That’s where Miss Teen SC went wrong. Policy Speak must follow a logical strand which no one else could possibly follow, but it does need to lead to safety. She found herself, after thirty seconds, still standing in the rice paddy with a restless herd of water buffalo.